Monday, 4 April 2016

Mushroom Gathering

Home after a very hectic week of cycling and walking. How I do love the lake district such an inspiring place. Meeting up with friends and sharing memories.
Something brought to mind just how much life has changed. Our new desire to make sure that everybody is safe and will come to no harm. I was remembering times shared with my son when he was so much younger and we did things together in the wild places of the Lake District. Not  nearly so frequently do you see such things.
I was out walking and I watched with joy as what I thought was a father and daughter. The father was helping and encouraging the daughter to climb a very large tree. Meanwhile the mother was taking pictures of the challenge. 

As I neared I realised it was not father and daughter but grandfather gran and grand-daughter. I jokingly asked if the mother and father would approve. "Of course they would not approve. Health and Safety  would get in the way." 
How true.
Later I remembered some of the meals I cooked for large groups of people meeting together for happy nights of food and laughter. Not anymore, Health and Safety!

I remembered this funny story about just such an occasion.

A group of friends from the  Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialise, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Aland and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But the mushrooms she wanted to use were expensive.
She then told her husband, "No mushrooms.They are too costly."
He said, "Why don't I go out and pick some of those wild mushrooms? I know where there are plenty."
She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison." ( My wife and family have said this to me often when I am about to cook up some I have collected while out walking.)
He said, "Well, I see plenty people picking them and they're OK."
So Jean decided to give it a try. he collected, she washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot the  dog a double handful. Spot ate every bite. 
All morning long, Jean watched Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialised, and played cards and dominoes. 
About then, one lady came in and whispered in Jean's ear.
She said, "Mrs. Williams, Spot is dead."
Jean went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. The scene was not pretty. 
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left.
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the  lady came in and whispered to Jean, "You know, that fellow that run over Spot never even stopped."

Half the story can often lead to rash decisions.

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