Tuesday, 14 March 2017

A clever dog.

As most people know I spent the early working years working as a butcher. So of course I know a great many tales and stories involving butchers. Most also know that I had a two dogs that I treated as great friends.

Combining those two things let me tell you of the butcher who had a  very strange customer.

A butcher watching over his shop gets a real surprise  when he sees a dog coming into  the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note and it reads “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in the bag attached to his collar.
The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a £10 note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog. So, off he goes.
The dog is walks down the street and comes comes to a level crossing. It puts down the bag, jumps up, and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn on. They do, and he goes across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus, at which point the dog walks around to the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat.Another bus comes, but this time the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it’s the right bus, and climbs on.
The butcher, by now, open-mouthed, follows him on to the bus.The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, while the dog looks at the scenery. Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on his two back paws, and pushes the button to stop the bus. He then gets off, with his parcel still in his mouth.

The dog and butcher  walk along the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself against the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and again, he throws himself against it. There’s no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.
The butcher watches as a big man opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.
The butcher runs up, and stops the man . “What in heaven’s name are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!” to which the man, responds: “You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog’s forgotten his key.”

There are some people in life who no matter what they have are never happy.

Have a wonderful day. 

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