Thursday, 19 January 2017

Oh to be a minister.

Not the same painting as yesterday though very similar they actually sold as a pair. 

Right now things do not seem at all full of joy, in fact it seems like most of the joy has gone out of society.  Maybe it is just me and having a  struggling time with a cold feeling only the doom and gloom and missing the happy bits. Though I did have a lovely day with my family for my birthday. Then maybe that was because the television was not switched on at all all day. 

I often find myself when life seems gloomy looking back to the smiling laughing moments of life, my ministry gave me many of those. 

Let me share two with you in the hope of bringing you a little smile.

I remember attending a conference of ministers and newly ordained. At the conference there were a number of very motivational speakers. 

One began his speech by telling everybody that he had, " Spent the best years of his life in the arms of a woman who was not his wife!" The gathering were all to a person looking bemused, what was coming next?

"That woman was my mother," he said. The laughter was obvious and it was plain to see that this would find its way into the sermons of many of the gathered. 

Sure enough the following Sunday one of the trainee ministers climbed the steps of the pulpit. He had been rehearsing the sermon for days because he knew that this being his first he would be nervous.

 He mounted the pulpit and adjusted the microphone. He began, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife." 
The congregation sat in silence.
After standing in the deathly hush for some time the preacher blurted out.
"And I cannot remember who she was!"
After preaching and conducting morning service a young lad asked if he had heard correctly the words of the sermon.
"Minister did you say that we all came from dust?"
"And did you say we would all return to dust?"
"Yes, you have been paying attention."
"I think you need to come to my house soon. Under my bed there is definitely somebody either coming or going."
Have a wonderful day full of smiles. 

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