Tuesday, 8 November 2016

The Ostrich.

 I was painting furiously yesterday trying to lay the groundwork of an abstract using only black and white paint. Simple it is after all  only two colours surely not difficult to do. Let me tell you I find it the most difficult of all things to achieve. 

I found myself saying, "How I wish this paint would just do what I want it to do and stop producing those grans that I do not want. 

My mind then went off on one of its fantasies. What would I do if every wish I had came true? What if the paint always did what I wanted?  What if every golf shot I played went straight down the middle of the fairway, every putt went true to the hole. 

What if I got the weather that every night I wish for. Even worse what if I could wish myself back to the time when I could have made a better decision than the one I did.

What if I could meet that genie in the bottle who could make my dreams and wishes come true. Even as I write this I know the answer. Life would become very boring and meaningless. Life without challenge would be no life at all.

Anyway knowing my luck it would all go wrong anyway. I would be a bit like the man and his ostrich.

This man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. 

The waitress asks for their orders. 

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. 

"That will be £9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the 
exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 
"A hamburger, fries, 
and a coke." 

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be £32.62."

Once again he man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. 

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your 
pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. 
When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if 
I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount 
of money would always be there."

"That's fantastic!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, 
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, 
the exact money is always there," 
says the man. 

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, 

"My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Beware what you wish for. Have a wonderful day. 

No comments:

Post a Comment