Monday, 8 May 2017


A Ballet Tulip.

I had reason to visit the hospital yesterday due to an emergency in my family. I so hate hospitals having had some happy moments and therefore memories of them.

This relationship with hospitals has caused some funny memories and some not so funny.  I suppose my dislike began when I was a very young lad. It appeared that when I went to the loo I was passing blood. My mother called the doctor who immediately sent me to the hospital. I was kept in of course being such an emergency. I hated this imprisonment. 

How pleased I was the next day to be told I would be going home, the blood turning out to be nothing more than an over indulgence in stolen beetroot, that my mother and neighbours had been cooking and I had been eating behind their backs. 

A more serious event that again kept me from hospitals was when I was older. I was using a very sharp butchers knife and took the top off my finger. It was wrapped in  a towel and I was taken to accident and emergency. After being asked what was wrong with me, which was rather obvious with all the blood dripping down my arm, I was asked to sit and wait. 

Around my feet began to be drops of the blood from my arm. A cleaner lady asked me to move to another seat while she mopped it up. A time later another nurse came and asked me what I was waiting for, I could not resist saying i was waiting for the other bit of floor to dry. 

I was training to run the London marathon when I began to get a pain in the groin. MY best friend Bert knowing my dislike of doctors and nurses said he would give me a good massage and I would be fine. He did just that and the next day i ran the marathon. Two days later I had to be rushed out of school to the accident and emergency and that night an emergency operation for a hernia. 

Yesterday I overheard a strange conversation between a nurse and the patient behind the screens of the bed next to my son. 

Nurse: “Yeah, I have chickens and they’re about to—”
Patient: “What do you have chickens for?”
Nurse: “They lay fresh eggs that my family and I can eat.”
Patient: “You eat the eggs out of a chicken’s bum!?”
Nurse: “Uh… where do you think eggs come from?”
Patient: “I buy mine from the store. They’re store eggs!”
Nurse:“They come out of a chicken’s butt, too.”
Patient: “But… but you said the ones you have are brown. The ones I get are white.”
Nurse: “ Some chickens lay white eggs and other lay brown. That’s not how—”
Patient: “I guess I’m just never having eggs again… like, ever. That’s disgusting. Thank goodness I am having rump steak for dinner."
I suppose we all see hospitals so differently but I rejoice and say a big thanks to all those who work within them. We really should rejoice that we have them all and be more appreciative of them. 
Have a happy and healthy day. 

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