Monday, 21 March 2016

Animals, Children and Dog Collars

Summer in France.

Today I am leaving home very early, so my sincere apologies that my blog today will be fairly short. I further apologise that it will be another the same as I have shared this last two days, memories of the words of children. 

I hope you enjoy a third day of those, I am aware that a fair number of you are having little laugh over them. 

One of my parishes was very much a country parish. This meant that some of the children were very aware of the care of animals both pets and farm animals. I had a dog, a number of aquarium fish in a number of tanks. I had a variety of hens and bantams numbering around about forty. I also had two geese and a number of ducks. But I was still a mere amateur alongside some of the children who I met around the parish.

I was chaplain in a number of schools. Naturally, I was properly dressed and wearing my clerical collar, better known in our parts as a dog collar. I was being introduced into a school for my first visit.
A little boy kept staring at me throughout the whole assembly. Finally, I asked the little boy what he was staring at.
The little boy pointed to my neck. Rather slow on the uptake I realised what he was looking and pointing at.  I  asked the boy his name,  "Do you know why I am wearing this?"
The boy nodded his head yes, he replied, "It kills fleas and ticks for up to three months."
This story was not to do with parish work. It happened in the gym.
A young lad got lost and found himself in the women's locker room. 
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. Yes that happened at one time, now it is much more acceptable.
The boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a  boy before?
One of the young girls, a child of one of the members of my church came home from school one day. Her mother asked her, "How did you get on at school today?"
Without any thought the young girl replied, "I am wasting my time there. I cannot read and I cannot write  and they will not let me talk."
One last one to make your day get off to a good start.
An elder of the church was going out to a very special function. When his son saw him put on his kilt and dress jacket socks and shoes. He looked at his father and said. "Dad you know you should not wear that kilt and jacket."
"Why is that son?" asked the elder.
" You know that every time you wear that kilt and jacket you get a sore head in the morning."
Have another great day. 

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