Wages and the Cost.

I heard the early news this morning and within the half hour I listened I was told about four times that today the BBC would announce the names of those presenters earning over £150,000. It seems that this is in fact a big story.

There is some concern that this publicity will result in  a hike in the cost of the TV licence because there will be more presenters striving for the same salary as the highest paid ones.

What concerns me is not the rush to the top but some of the things that happen because of the salaries being paid to some. 

We see the same faces night after night on one program after another, because they are being paid they must be used. 

We witnessed an incident where a tennis doubles match with just one game or so to be played before it finished being put off the air because one such high paid presenter was coming on to talk about the day at Wimbledon.

I could go on forever. But having given it some thought I think we need to make sure these employees are not dictating the terms but we the employers are. 

So, a new employee handbook.

Sick Days.

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Surgery

Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days each year. They are called, "Saturday" and "Sunday."

Bereavement Leave

Bereavement is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for your dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.

Absence due to your own death.

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks' notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing a pair of £650.00 Prada running shoes & carrying a £1000.00 Gucci bag, we will assume that you are doing well financially & therefore do not need a raise.

Thank You.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation's, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Of course I am joking. There is a much easier solution, one I found while on holiday, hit the off button. Or look at the schedules and do not bother to hit the on button. Oh and you might want to tweet those in power and let them know you have. 

Have a wonderful TV free day you will discover there is so much more to life, than watching others live theirs.