Life in Europe.

How I hope that things do not change too much in terms of my annual visits to France. Already we can sense the differences that are on the horizon. For the first time in a lot of years I was asked how many bottles of wine I was bringing home with me at border control. No doubt we will soon be back to the days when we have a green route and a red route and we will only be permitted so many bottles.

I look forward to my times in France, though they do sometimes have there moments.

Like the time I found myself in what I thought was a gents toilet only to discover it was unisex and a member of the female gender held a conversation with me during the process.

Fortunately it was not quite like the one another caravaner had.

He told the tale:

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:  "Hi, how are you?" 

  

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!" 

  

And the other guy says: "So, what are you up to?" 

  

What kind of question is that?  At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: “Uh, I'm like you, just traveling!" 

  

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?" 

  

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.  I tell him, "No...I'm a little busy right now!!!" 

  

Then I hear the guy say nervously... 

  

"Listen, I'll have to call you back.  There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!" 

Holidays bring such moments;

While on holiday in their motorhome, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. 

  

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. 

  

And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. 

  

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. 

  

He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. 

  

He just wouldn't let up one minute. 

  

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. And as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her...

  

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat!"

I am laughing because in the last week my good friend has lost his bonnet and we have all looked and looked to see where he left it.

Have a great day.

Through the eyes of innocence.

Life is full of beautiful memories and little incidents so often bring them flooding back. Last night my friend Bert and I had a few such moments as he once again found himself travelling down memory lane. Such memories usually bring a smile and frequently involve tales of moment shared with children.

I do not have any grandchildren but yet my memories are full of tales of other friends grandchildren.

A young grandson called  to wish his grandmother Happy Birthday. He asked her  how old she was, and was told him, 62. 

The grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?" 

Or the tale of the grandmother, talking with her granddaughter about her youth.

She was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. 

"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tyre; it hung from a tree in our front garden. 

We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I had got to know you know you sooner!" 

I remember a time when a little girl visiting my manse was diligently pounding away on my PCW word processor, does anybody remember those?  She told me she was writing a story. 

"What's it about?" I asked. 

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." 

 A young lad not long started in his second year at primary school came home  and said to his grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?" 

"It is simple," replied the lad. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." 

Yes, it is all very simple this life through the eyes of a child. Do you not wish you could do the same some days. 

Have a good day.

Life is indeed a laugh.

I got a brand new loyalty card from a well known store. Along with the card came a new instruction booklet to let me see how it was now so much easier to use. They also informed me about there new online app and wow a brand new way of paying using my iPhone. 

Now I wondered if I was supposed to be amazed rather than a bit depressed that thy had not noticed I had been using one of their apps for a long time and had never had to produce my loyalty card  in ages. To be honest I do not even know where it is it is so long. 

Will I use this brand you all singing and dancing one, their view not mine? I doubt it I find using my phone so much easier and a lot more secure. 

Still I do notice you not longer have to sign the back of it. That is a step in the correct direction. it will mean I no longer have the following kind of encounter.

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. 

She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. 

Yes, you have got it! I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. 

As luck would have it, they matched.

This was very similar to another strange occurrence that happened to me recently.

When we arrived at the garage to pick up our car after it had had its MOT, I was  told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it, and I would have to wait until they had solved the problem. 

I looked over towards my car and saw the mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. 

"Hey," I announced to the him, "It's open!" 

"I know,"  answered the young man. "I already got that side.'

True events and the joys of life. I am willing to gamble, and I am not a gambler, that I am not the only one this has happened to. 

Have a laughter filled day.

This internet stuff.

It seems that some are amused that people of my age can still make fun about the internet. I am smiling. I can remember the first computer we ever had, a commodore 64, we had to learn to program if we wanted it to do anything. I remember making it produce a tennis game with a white dot moving over the screen and we had to hit it back before it reached the side. It was amazing, and nobody got killed.

The trouble with computers now is how easy it is. You switch it on, and off you go into the worldwide internet. Full of dreams and visions and friends. Before you know where you are the day has almost gone and nothing has been achieved.

Here are a few alternatives.

Bake 2 batches of scones possibly a batch of fruit ones and maybe a batch of cheese ones and invite friends round. Share freely.

Step outside your front door.  “It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” ~ Bilbo Baggins (J.R.R. Tolkein)

Turn on a fan or humidifier, grab a good book, and read until you fall asleep. This will be easy because your eyes will be tired from reading every last page of the internet.

Take the dog for a walk in the park. The dog will love it and remember to take a poo bag with you. 

Go to the library and go to the book section with the fewest visitors, to see what you can learn that you can become an expert on what no one else is reading.Possibly a book on computer maintenance, or look for one in the Kindle Store, or alternative source of ebooks.

Get out the picnic basket, drop into the local shop for some cheese, fruit, breads, and your favourite beverage. Head to the nearest park, grove of trees, or quiet overlook to enjoy a calm hour by yourself, you might find you like your own company. Or take somebody close with you.

Get out of town for a change of pace.

• Trillian: "Let's go somewhere." 
• Arthur: "Where did you have in mind?" 
• Trillian:  "Madagascar."
• Arthur:  "That new club on Dean Street?"
• Trillian:  "No, it's a country. Off the coast of Africa."
• ~ the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

"Boldly go where no man has gone before."

Set the table with the fine china, the good glasses, and the sterling silverware, on a classic tablecloth. Serve dinner with the whole family present. Even the kids. Who will need to be dragged away from their electronics for the moment.

You've read the last page of the internet. Take off your glasses. Wash your face thoroughly. Then prepare a hot bubble bath and soak in it for 60 full minutes. With your favourite music in the background. I play mine through my mirror, so still enjoying technology. It will seem like days. You will be wrinkled from head to toe when you get out.

Have a wonderful day! There is more to life than you know what. 

Computers and Scammers.

I had a real laugh the other afternoons my friend once again related the phone call he got from a company wanting to make his computer work faster and better. Of course this would come at a price. He told me how he responded by telling them that he would never ever give business to a company that was involved in cold calling.  Anyway he knew somebody who lived very close by who kept his computer running like a sweetie.  Goodbye.

I had a similar call from somebody with a distinctly foreign accent telling me that my windows  computer was sending out messages to them letting them know that it was infected by a serious virus. I was not to worry they were here to help. Of course once again at a price, this time probably my personal details. 

I sounded deeply concerned and they took the bait. I asked all sorts of really silly questions showing my ignorance, as far as they were concerned, about how such things happened and what could I do. My level of stress increased with each passing minute.

They on the other hand were getting more and more excited at the prospect of a loser. After a fairly lengthy discussion with them I asked again, "You did say that my windows computer was sending out those messages?"  "Yes, that is correct," came the response.

"Now is that not amazing," I said, "because I do not have a windows computer. You might have and I just might have dropped a trojan onto it."

Computers are really not at all complicated  let me explain them to you. Being an artist I am aware that a picture can say a lot more than words so let me share another little picture with you.

Do you fully comprehend all the parts that work together to make it function?  

Can you now see why you need a CPU, a Central Processing Unit?  And why the Backup System so critical?  

And the difference between the Main Storage, and Floppy Disk storage? 

And then there's input and output.  And RAM.  And ROM.  And CD's.  And eternet and WiFi.

  Yet it can still be hard to understand my computer.  Hardware and software.  Computers are confusing.  14 inch monitors, 15 inch monitors, 17 inch monitors, 19 inch monitors, then flat screens, and wide screens.

Like  I said above above, "a picture is worth 1000 words."

Have a wonderful day and do not fall foul of computer scammers. 

We baby Boomers

I had a visit from my daughter the other day and as usual we ended up in a serious discussion about the state of life and what is happening on the political field. I am sure you have your views about such matters but here is not the place, other than to comment that being a political animal has not always led to a happy life. I sure hope I have not inflicted this onto my children, but suspect I have. 

I often feel that to be caring in a world that is more and more becoming uncaring is not easy.

But back to my thoughts. My daughter at one point made a comment about us baby boomers doing alright and the chickens now coming home to roost on the young of today. 

But hey, we baby boomers did not have it easy. 

In fact it is amazing some of us are still around. 

As children, we would sit in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a the vegetable lorry on a warm day was always a special treat.

Our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paint.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets.  

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. . . . Horrors.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem.

We sat on an old bit of wood fitted to a roller-skate and went down the road, a steep hill, with no thought of how we were going to stop, or what we might meet at the bottom.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on, surviving on a couple of jam sandwiches.

No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. . .  Unthinkable.

We played dodge ball and sometimes the ball would really hurt.

We got cut and broke bones and broke teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us.

Remember accidents?

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We ate fairy cakes, (not the American muffins) bread and butter, and drank sugar lemonade, and stuck rhubarb sticks in a poke of sugar, but we were never overweight........we were always outside playing all day burning energy.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one died from this?

Ah yes it was a hard life. No reality tv, no big brother or love island, or WWW, just real life.

Have a great day.

Making memories.

I spent some time yesterday while walking with my friend thinking about days gone by. He has that effect on me, because he is full of memories, wonderful and amusing memories.

But then as we get older it is the memories that make us smile almost as much as the reality. There is nothing funny or amusing about being able to hit a straight drive down the centre of the fairway at about 150 yards, when you used to do the same but over 200 yards. 

It does mean I spend a bit longer on the golf course so have longer to think and remember the many many funnies I have gathered over the years. 

Yesterday I was prompted to think about marriage. But marriage does not just happen. Before you can think about marriage there are those first kisses and dates. Now do those not bring back memories? Let me tell any younger people reading this, and there are some, "Remember you are creating memories in your youth that you will store for later on. Hold on to them."

Here are some fews of young people about Dates and Kissing, hope they make you smile.

Dates:

"Many daters just eat pork chops and French Fries and talk about love." - Craig, 9

"On the first date, people just tell each other lies. That usually gets them interested enough in each other to go out to a second date.  - Matthew, age 10

"Boys and girls like to go to the movies on dates, so they can sit in the dark together." - Mariah, age 8

"If a boy and a girl have hearts on fire, they order one of those desserts that are on fire too." - Michael, 12

"People on dates are funny, like puppy dogs. Puppy dogs wag their tails when they are happy. People on dates are like that, except they don't have tails."  - Elijah, age 9

And Kissing:

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough money to buy her a ring and her own VCR, because she'll want to have videos of the wedding.'" - Allan, 10

"You need to be careful not to kiss a boy in front of people. It can be embarrassing if someone sees you. If no one sees you, it might be fun if he's a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.  Goldie, age 8

"When you take a girl out on a date, you can buy her french fries. Then if she starts waving the french fries around it means she wants to kiss you." - Brandon, 11

"I don't know how to know when it's okay to kiss someone, but I know if the boy has lipstick marks on his face he was kissing the girl." -Alesia, age 9

"When it's really cold outside, it's okay to kiss a boy, because it makes you all warm inside and all over." - Betty, age 7

"I don't kiss boys anymore. They slobber all over you and it's yucky. That's why it's never okay to kiss." - Tammy, age 9

On that thought have a great day, I am scheduled to hit a few rather shorter drives than my memories tell me of. 

Marriage.

I overheard a conversation yesterday and I just could not help laughing what I heard. There was an old couple with their grandchild. I am not sure what the conversation was about as I was not really intending to listen to what they were saying. I did however hear the grandchild asking the old couple why they were married. They told her they had got married because they had fallen in love. 

"When was this?" asked the granddaughter. "It was about 40 years ago," replied the grandfather. The child made a comment about not going to bother getting married because she certainly did not want to be with her boyfriend as long as that, "An hour on a Saturday and Sunday is way long enough."

The grandmother looked over to me and smiled aware that I was trying hard not to laugh out loud. 

So what is marriage? 

Here is what some young people think.

"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents." - Eric, age 6

"If marriage is anything like spelling, I don't want it. It's too hard." Martin, age 7

"Hey, I'm just a child. It gives me a headache to think about things like marriage." William, age 5

"Marriage is a real good thing I think, but football is pretty good too."  - Ralph, 9

"Marriage is what happens when two people are in love, and they go out to eat, and they like talking to each other so much their food gets cold and they don't care." - Pamela, age 7

And when should you get married?

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." - Bert, 5

"I'm not sure how old you need to be, but I think you have to start with being handsome. Just look at me. I'm handsome, but I'm not married yet." - Brian, 6

"I think 82 is the right age to get married. That way you can hold hands to keep each other from falling over, and nobody knows that's what you're doing." - Steven, 7

"I don't want to rush into marriage. It's hard enough just getting through the fourth grade." - Ashley, age 9

"One of you has to be old enough to write cheques, because when you get married there's lots of bills to pay." - Dillon, age 10

Have a great day and a fresh thought about marriage. 

The wise teacher.

There is life in unexpected places.

I often wonder if I was ever remembered from my time as a teacher. I know that even now in my later years there are some teachers I look back and remember very fondly. I do so because they took the time to show me that I was not as hopeless as I felt. 

At least two of them went that extra mile to help me even after I had long left their spare of influence in a formal sense. 

There is something very special about those who influence the lives of others in a good way. Not all such people are formal teachers but those along the way who took the time to pass on knowledge and learning. 

There was once a wise teacher, known throughout the county.  Students eagerly sought to meet this teacher and learn from his wisdom.

Over the years, one-by-one his students would leave him and go off to do great work in the world.  All, that is, but one.

For this one student, things did not seem to go well. 

He wondered why he wasn’t ready for the world after years under this teacher’s care and instruction. He figured it must be the teacher’s fault. One day, he asked for a special meeting with the wise teacher.

“Teacher,” said Jason, “Why am I not yet ready to go off into the world? 

I listened carefully to everything you have said. I have acquired vast knowledge. Why, then, am I not ready like the other students? It’s just not fair. Some of the students started after me and they are already off on their own, doing great things in the world.”

“Jason,” replied the teacher, “Perhaps I should meet you at your home to discuss this further.  Where do you live?”

Jason gave him his address, but the teacher wanted more.  “Can you please give me directions to your home so I can get there without a map.”

And so, he told her how to find his home, in great detail. 

He explained about the twists and turns in the road, where to watch out for the apple tree with the dead branch just before the road that led to his home. He explained about the flower box just to the left of the door and the herb garden off to the right.

The wise teacher carefully repeated the directions to Jason, not forgetting even a single detail.

“Yes, yes. That’s right!” he said.

“Do I have all the information I need?” the teacher asked.

“Oh yes, you’ll have no trouble at all,” replied Jason.

“Are you sure I haven’t forgotten anything?” the teacher said with a puzzled look on his face.

“No, Sir, that’s everything,” said Jason.

“So, no important last minute hints young man?” asked the teacher with a slight frown.

“No, really.  You have it right,” he said, with an annoyed sigh.

There was a long pause as the wise teacher rubbed his chin.

“Well then,” the teacher said his hand clasped behind his back now.  “Am I at your home?”

“What?” Jason asked, a bit confused.

“Am I not standing with the flower box on my left and the herb garden off to my right?” said the wise teacher with his eyes closed.  “After all, I have all the information I need, right down to the smallest detail.”

There was a long period of silence.

Bowing his head Jason finally looked up at his wise teacher, the lesson finally dawning on him.  

“Oh Teacher,” said the student humbly, “It is not just information and details that I must remember.  

I must learn to take action. It is in the doing that takes us where we need to go.”

In other words, "Knowing everything is one thing but putting it into action is another."

Have a peaceful day. 

Ageing can be fun.

It is good to be home and back in the fold of friends. I look forward to a Friday evening I spend an hour with my good friend Bert. I in fact lead him astray. 

He has lived in the village for over twenty years but was not in the habit of visiting the local Inn. Now on a Friday evening we go over for an hour or so for an ale and a chat. 

We enjoy the friendly banter and the joke telling. Last night it was me who was the brunt of the  teasing. While in France I had purchased a woven smock, very colourful I have to admit. I had looked at it hanging outside the shop for days before actually deciding that yes I would wear it. 

I faced a barrage of comments about my wife old curtains and had I made it out of an old carpet. All  in good  humour.

Getting older can sometimes mean finding more funny things in life. After all, "I've paid my dues!" "I've raised my kids." "I want to have fun." Ageing and getting older should be fun!

Ageing should include a fun sense of humour!

Let me explain what I mean.

As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends. They can't remember them either. 

You can't stay young forever. But, you can be immature for your entire life.

I live in my own little world. But it's okay,  they know me here.

Forget health food. I'm at the age where I need all the preservatives I can get.

I would be unstoppable, if I could only get started.

"I am having amnesia, dementia, and deja vu, all at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before . . ."

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

AAADD

I keep wondering why things never seem to go as planned. I was reading an article yesterday and I have discovered my problem. I have what is known as AAADD. 

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

It goes something like this.

I decide to wash the car. I start toward the garage and notice the mail lying at the back of the letterbox. 

OK, I'm going to wash the car...but first, I'm going to go check the mail.

I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail...and notice the rubbish bin is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on the desk and take the rubbish out. But before I do that I best go online and pay those two bills.

I go to log on and I see the coffee I was drinking sitting on the desk.

I need to finish that, but it is cold  maybe I'll pop it into the microwave to warm it up.

I head toward the kitchen and the plants catch my eye, they need some water.

I set the coffee on the counter and uh oh! there's my glasses...I was looking for them all morning!  

I'm pretty sure I really don't have age activated attention deficit disorder.

I'd better put the glasses away first. I fill a container with water and head for the flowerpots-

Aaaaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the living room where it belongs.

I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do...!!??!!  

And it's NOT an aging disorder, or deficit, or anything like that, I think.

At the end of the day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the coffee is sitting on the kitchen counter, flowers are half watered,  and I can't seem to find my car keys!

When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG! 

I realise this Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder is a serious condition and I'd better get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail.

Have an active day.

It is all down to practice.

I am sure this little portrait is not just right but it does have a rather cheeky face so I thought I would give it a try.

I do not know why, maybe it is because I post with spelling mistakes, but I got an email from the dyslexia society the other day. Normally such emails I would just cast into the bin, but on this occasion I could not resist reading it. 

It took me back to my rather painful childhood. The hours I spent trying to do reading homework. My mother tried so hard but it became a nightmare. The book would go flying across the room as I failed for the twentieth time to read the few sentences I had to master. 

Of course the next day i would sit in class with all my classmates dreading that I would be picked on to stand up and read.

The words just bounced around in front of me and anxiety just made it worse. 

Writing was an even bigger disaster. I for some strange and wonderful reason would manage a few words and then the next few would be written mirror style.  Or maybe just a few letters in a word usually e would end up the wrong way round. 

To say I struggled was an understatement. I was marked down as, slow, lazy, thick and so on. No wonder at the earliest possible age I departed company with formal education.

It is amazing that later I began to write poetry and then hymns. That I went on to university and took an extra class in speed reading.  

There I learned a great secret. Stop trying to read the words let your brain read them for you. Let me give you an example to play with for a few minutes before you start your day. 

Start Here.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

(Hrad to blveiee taht yuo cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht yuo wehr rdanieg).

Isn't it amazing. Now the Atheist dyslexic deos not need to beleive in Dogs he can dibelieve in gods.

Now I know that is not a PC joke but after what I have written above I think I can safely get away with it. 

Have a wonderful day and maybe a bit of light reading. 

Wages and the Cost.

I heard the early news this morning and within the half hour I listened I was told about four times that today the BBC would announce the names of those presenters earning over £150,000. It seems that this is in fact a big story.

There is some concern that this publicity will result in  a hike in the cost of the TV licence because there will be more presenters striving for the same salary as the highest paid ones.

What concerns me is not the rush to the top but some of the things that happen because of the salaries being paid to some. 

We see the same faces night after night on one program after another, because they are being paid they must be used. 

We witnessed an incident where a tennis doubles match with just one game or so to be played before it finished being put off the air because one such high paid presenter was coming on to talk about the day at Wimbledon.

I could go on forever. But having given it some thought I think we need to make sure these employees are not dictating the terms but we the employers are. 

So, a new employee handbook.

Sick Days.

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Surgery

Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days each year. They are called, "Saturday" and "Sunday."

Bereavement Leave

Bereavement is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for your dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.

Absence due to your own death.

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks' notice, as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

Dress Code

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing a pair of £650.00 Prada running shoes & carrying a £1000.00 Gucci bag, we will assume that you are doing well financially & therefore do not need a raise.

Thank You.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation's, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Of course I am joking. There is a much easier solution, one I found while on holiday, hit the off button. Or look at the schedules and do not bother to hit the on button. Oh and you might want to tweet those in power and let them know you have. 

Have a wonderful TV free day you will discover there is so much more to life, than watching others live theirs.

Time and time.

Even in the darkest moments.

I was listening to some of my favourite music from the far and distant past. One that struck me for some reason was the one about for everything there is a season. it was based on a well known biblical quotation but it was well done and very simple.

It got me thinking as I wandered round the golf course on my own. Might I add I was on my own by choice. I really just wanted no pressure and to have a few good shots.

Halfway round the course there is a notice that informs you that if you are playing to time it should take one hour and fifty minutes to each that point.  I was well on schedule.

Time! Do we ever give enough thought to it?

To realise the value of ten years:

 Ask a cancer survivor, and their spouse, and their kids and grand-kids.

To realise the value of four years:

Ask a smiling college graduate with their new degree. Or look at pictures of somebody on graduation day.

To realise the value of one year:

Ask the parents of a baby on his/her first birthday. How fast it has gone.

 To realise the value of one week:

 Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realise the value of one day:

Ask a man / woman who has been sober for a first day after years of addiction. 

To realise the value of one minute:

 Ask the father who got the last seat on the plane to make it to watch his child play a part in the school play.

To realise the value of one-second:

Ask the pilot who ejected just before the plane crashed.

Time waits for nobody. Seize the moment and spend it with somebody precious.

Have a marvellous day.

Where are they?

I spent ages working on this little floral. I saw this on my last walk in France on the morning of my journey home. I possibly spent too much time and got the flowers a bit too correct, not what can be said about the poppies! Need to do some more on this. 

I have lost my spectacles and goodness knows where I have put them. Probably like most things I lose they will turn up later, but I really have searched and searched to no avail. One of the reasons why I never buy expensive spectacles. I either lose them or sit on them. Sadly in this case I have also misplaced the case I keep them in which I had kind of grown attached to. I had a rough acrylic painting on the box which helped to identify it as mine very easily.

It is an age thing for sure. 

Two aging little ladies had been friends since their 20s. They were "domino friends". Now in their 80s, they still got together a couple of times a week to play dominoes. 

One day they while playing one of them said, "You know, we’ve been friends for many years and, please don't get mad, but for the life of me, I can't remember your name. Please tell me what it is."

Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least three minutes. 

Finally, she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

I really do hope I am not as bad as that yet, but I am getting there.

Maybe I need to go see the doctor? I keep complaining about my friends and family moving things even when they assure me they have not touched them. 

Going to the doctor is something I hate, they only ever confirm my fears that I am getting old. 

The las time I went there it went something like this.

"The doctor asked me how much I weighed. I told her I weighed 104 pounds. Then she weighed me and the scale said 160."

"She asked me how tall I was. I said, '5 feet, 5 inches.' She measured me and I was only 5 feet, 3 inches tall"

"Then she took my blood pressure and told me it was high."

"Of course my blood pressure is high," I said.

"When I came in here I was tall and slender."

"Now I'm short and fat!"

The ever moving process of life.  

Played a round of golf with my son and his friend yesterday. Heading back down today to see if I can remember what to do with those club things I have in a bag on a trolly. 

Have a great day.