Thursday 1 February 2018

Not as simple.

Such a little sketch but oh the meaning.

I have been working on some chinese art and script. Fot the Chinese there is not an iota of difference both fall into the same realm of art. The calligrapher is held in the same esteem as the artist.  So a worthy exercise.

Both are very difficult to perfect and I am sure I will not be of this earth long enough to master it. But there are other things also difficult that I do hope to master.

I wonder what is the most difficult? Forgiving a person for something they have done that caused you upset, or going the stage further and forgetting?

Clara Barton, the founder of the American Red Cross, was reminded one day of a vicious deed that someone had done to her years before. But she acted as if she had never even heard of the incident. 

"Don't you remember it?" her friend asked. "No," came Barton's reply, "I distinctly remember forgetting it."  Now that takes a really forgiving person to not only let bygones be bygones but to forget also. 

I remember one day considering very earnestly if there was anybody in my history who I had caused to have some concern or I had in some way caused hurt. I was making a big change in my life and felt that it might be could not only to begin the next step but to do so leaving behind no regrets. I had lived my life to the best of my ability not causing hurt to others but was aware that it was a simple thing to do without having to try too hard. Some harm can be caused by omission, not by the doing of something but in failing to. 

There were friends that I had at one time meant something to and we had a good relationship that had one way or another been allowed to wane. I mad the effort to contact all those who in any way I might have caused harm. Those I could I contacted and maybe a genuine effort to right any wrongs.

A very worthy exercise, not an easy one but a worthy  one. I was able to move on feeling I was leaving behind no loose ends.
General Oglethorpe once said to John Wesley, "I never forgive and I never forget." To which Wesley replied, "Then, Sir, I hope you never sin." of course we all make mistakes we are sorry about. 

A friend visited an old friend she had not seen for a few years. They spoke about days gone past and the things they had shared together. One of the things they remembered was planting a tree together in the garden behind this house she now still lived in. 

She showed her the tree and almost tearful told how it had grown into a beautiful tree but the neighbour next door had been spraying killer in a wind and not the tree was looking bedraggled and forlorn. She looked at her friend expecting her to be at one with her and suggesting some way to get recompense.

She was taken aback when the friend turned and said, "Cut it down Mary and forget it. It is better to forgive an injustice of the past than to allow it to remain, let bitterness take root and it will poison the rest of your life."

A minister friend likes to tell the story of two brothers who went to their minister to settle a longstanding feud. The minister got the two to reconcile their differences and shake hands. 

As they were about to leave, he asked each one to make a wish for the other in honour of the New Year. The first brother turned to the other and said, "I wish you what you wish me." 

At that, the second brother threw up his hands and said, "See, Minister, he's starting up again!"

How easy it is to go through the process of forgiving but it is so much more difficult to forgive and also forget.

I remember a person I had deep and fond feelings for had a difference with me. I sought her forgiveness. her answer was that she would forgive me but she would never forget it. There was little point in pursuing that friendship so it ended there and then.

A very famous psychiatrist once said that if he could get his patients to believe that they had been forgiven their pasts mistakes seventy-five percent of them would walk out of the hospital that same day. 

When conflicts settled and resentment remains.
Surely other conflicts will follow.
The wise work for agreement they seek solutions.
The ignorant only continue to cast blame.
Be wise and compassionate.

I may not master Chinese art or calligraphy but I hope I master the art of forgiving and forgetting. 

Have a marvellous day at peace with yourself and all around you. 

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