Saturday 19 May 2018

It is a Wedding.


Right now it is Saturday morning as I sit down to right this little blog. I have the door of mt study firmly closed because for this moment of time I want to hear not another word about the fact that here in the UK today their is to be a special wedding. It has been impossible now for over the last week to avoid hearing about this. Speculation guessing and everything else about what will happen. The answer is simple two people will do the same as hundred, thousands, millions before and say I do.

I have found it almost impossible to avoid it all, I turned to a radio station that only plays constant classical music but even they were going to give a running commentry of events. I wonder who is catering for the many who wish to listen to something else?

Over the years I have conducted weddings for a great many couples and many of them still from time to time keep in touch. Some of them have even got in touch to thank me for the advice I gave on the day and in the days leading up to their wedding.

But I would never venture to offer advise to todays wedding couple.

I should be able to, having been married for forty five years if not more. So what can I say on this day?

Openness is essentially the willingness to grow, a distaste for ruts, eagerly standing on tip-toe for a better view of what tomorrow brings. 

A man once bought a new radio, brought it home, placed it on the refrigerator, plugged it in, turned it to The World Broadcast and then pulled all the knobs off! He had already tuned in all he ever wanted or expected to hear. 

Some marriages are "rutted" and rather dreary because either or both partners have yielded to the tyrany of the inevitable, "what has been will still be." 

Stay open to newness. Stay open to change, my best words on the topic.

MY last little thought this morning can be for couple married or thinking about it but is equally true of any friendship.

Do you and your partner feed each other a steady diet of put-downs? If you do, your marriage could be headed for divorce court.

When a psychologists studied newlyweds over the first decade of marriage, they discovered that couples who stayed together uttered 5 or fewer put-downs in every 100 comments to each other. 

But couples who inflicted twice as many verbal wounds - 10 or more putdowns out of every 100 comments later split up.

Watch what you say! Little, nit-picking comments are like a cancer in any relationship, slowly draining the life out of a committed friendship.

I will post this blog do my morning Tai Chi and meditation and then head out into the wilds where I will be unable to hear the sound of wedding bells. Later today there are two cup finals I just might watch one or other and tonight the berlin Phiermonic have a concert I am able to watch live. This will be my day . if you are to be wedding watching have a joyous day. 

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