It is a matter of prejudice.

From time to time throughout my whole life I have had moments which I call the dark side of my being. I can be on a creative roll and works seem to come from every nerve of my being. At such moments I often feel guilty because I feel that I have talents that I never fully put to use. 

I played saxophone and clarinet at one time in my life and even wrote some hymns and music. I have not played a note in years. But then for no apparent reason, I sink into the valley of the shadow of my night. I can feel it coming but there has never been an obvious reason and I am helpless to do anything about it. Everything I touch turns to stone and is not worthy. 

Sometimes those days can go on for ages at other times with meditation and gentle thought I can rescue myself.

But what has this to do with this blog?

yesterday I felt the dreads come over me so instantly I got dressed and headed out to my quiet walk. The sun was shining the birds were in full song. So why was I feeling so dark?

I began to think. it came to me that we are all familiar with prejudice. We see it all around us in many forms, nationalism of the worst kind, chauvinism, sexism, racism and many more. Most of us cry out against these injustices. As long as there is prejudice we say we will never fairly know one another. 

But let us think for a moment. It is a type of prejudice that keeps us from knowing ourselves. If we are honest and consider it, it is ourselves we most favour.

We cater for our bodily needs. We look after our sensual indulgences. We feed our intellectual curiosities. And those lustful ambitions?

When we are sick or disadvantaged, no one feels our pain more loudly than ourselves. When things are going right none rejoices more for us than we ourselves. When we are on the verge of death no one clings on with such a vehemence.

As long as we are slaves to our own appetites, we can never fully know the inner being. As long as we crave comfort over effort we will give up on the quest for meaning.

As long as we hold on to intellectual ideas over experience we can never fully learn of our inner spirituality.

As long as we insist that we are separate, individual entities, apart from the rest of humankind. How can we ever learn that sense of oneness with ourselves and others?

No mother thinks her child is ugly because that child is her creation. In the exact same way if we continue to be partial to ourselves. We create ourselves.

But is we are to reach a real in depth realisation of oneself, we must first confront our own self-prejudice and resolve our own selfishness. 

Rather than becoming absorbed in my difficulties and dark moments use it to see the struggles and darkness our neighbour need endure. Rather than feel sorry rejoice in what I have. 

I give thanks that my dark moment s have helped me to see beyond myself and feel for the needs of others. 

Sorry for the seriousness of this I hope you have a marvellous day.