It must be Love.

I was reminded the other day of one of the lessons I always enjoyed teaching. I taught the lesson after my first or second lesson with the class of students newly arrived from the lower school.

I began by playing devil's advocate and making a wild statement saying that I was so fed up listening to people talking about love. There is no such thing as love and nobody in this room who can prove to me that it exists. Of course, teenagers in the heat of the onrush of hormones were not going to take such a statement lying down.  Murmers started in the room and it was obvious that nobody believed what I was saying.

My next comment was of course, "if there is such a thing would you please like to break into groups of four and come up with one sentence that tells me without a shadow of a doubt that you have discovered the meaning of the word.

Much discussion took place until I called time on the exercise, I cannot remember a time when a group of four could agree about the sentence they were going to submit.

The trouble is not, does love exist or not, the trouble is that we have a word that is used far too frequently in our language.  It is a word that we have used to such an extent that it seldom if ever has a definitive meaning. 

Far too easily we can say that we love a beefburger and in the same breath say that we love another person. I had been captivated by this from a very early age in my life, hearing the word used so frequently that being me I could not work out what was meant by the word at all.

It was the philosopher Pascal who said the following about love.

If a man loves a woman for her beauty, does he love her? No; for the small-pox, which destroys her beauty without killing her, causes his love to cease. 

And if anyone loves me for my judgment or my memory, does he really love me? No; for I can lose these qualities without ceasing to be.

The real trouble is that we have only one word for Love. The Greeks had four words for Love, some say possibly five. I settle for the four. 

Storge which is an empathy for others, a feeling for what they are experiencing an attempt to stand along aside in their joy or need.

Philia or philos a love for friends a love that stands beside others because we know that the other would stand equally beside us.

Eros is a kind of erotic love a love that looks for something in return. A love that wishes to be loved. 

Agape is an unconditional love that gives and gives and looks for nothing in return just simply goes on loving because that is how it happens to be. 

Once I discovered this I began to see why it seemed that we used the word love in so many ways and never with the same meaning. using the word love became so much more important to me and I never use it now without first knowing the context in which I use it.

So Love can be.

Silence, when your words would hurt.

Patience, when your neighbour's curt.

Deafness, when a scandal flows.

Thoughtfulness, for other's woes.

Promptness, when stern duty calls.

Courage, when misfortune falls. 

And oh so much more.

Another  teacher in an adult-education creative-writing class told the group to write "I love you" in 25 words or less, without using the words "I love you." 

She gave  15 minutes. 

A woman in the class spent about ten minutes looking at the ceiling and wriggling in her seat. The last five minutes she wrote frantically, and later read us the results. She had written.

"Why, I've seen lots worse hairdos than that, honey."

"These cakes are hardly burned at all."

"Cuddle up, I'll get your feet warm."

Yes that gets close. have a marvellous day and think of all the ways you love and are loved.