Oh dear this getting old.

I cannot believe what happened to me last night, no matter how often I tell myself it was not true I know that it was. 

I had gone out walking and set my watch to record the time and the distance, as is my want. It had been raining heavily so I put on a waterproof jacket with tight cuffs. Sometime during the walk, the cuffs had pressed something on my watch and I could not read the walk or reopen the app. 

I decided to wait until I got home and would fix it then. I made a coffee and got myself comfortable in my easy chair. Now to fix the watch. This is where I still am not sure what I did but one thing for sure I pressed the wrong buttons. My watch went into emergency mode, the next thing I heard was which service to you require, police ambulance or fire brigade? I panicked in a loud voice shouted to my wife I have done something with my watch and cannot get it off. Eventually, I managed to get it off and I pressed the reset buttons to give it a boost.

Thinking all was well I relaxed with my coffee. My mobile phone rang. It was the police checking that all was well, they had heard a disturbance. I had to put my wife on the phone to reassure them all was well. 

Oh, dear is this what it is like to be old?  Then the penny drops and you begin to realise that for most people you already are old.

It is a bit like the old lady who was asked, “What is the best thing about being 94?’  Her immediate answer was, “The lack of peer pressure.”

Or to be like the old lady in a story I was told very recently. She felt like her body had got all out of shape.  So she got her doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. 

I decided to begin with an aerobics class for seniors. She said, “I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

This morning I feel a real fool and I know that I will not make a good old person and that it is only going to get worse.   

Which leaves me with yet another story to brighten your day. Another from an old man. Talking to his friend he was overheard to say.

I realize I am old!  I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,  new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. 

Have lost all my friends.

 But, thankfully  I still have my driver's license.

Have a good day. Have a laugh at my expense I give you full permission.