You would think it was Christmas.

The Gift.

It is Christmas Again.

Santa was angry he had had a bad day,

His elves were on strike they wanted more pay,

They wanted an Elf Service for all,

So they had been on strike since the fall.

Blitzen and dancer and Cupid with Rudolph,

Had gone off in a hoof,

His yin wouldn’t yang and yang would not yin

The bell of the sled just would not ring.

Global warming had come there would be no snow this year,

It looked like it would only be Rain Dear,

Said Mrs Claus reading the weather forecast

Poor Santa wished that Christmas was passed.

Not just global warming but PC as well,

No guns for the boys or dolls for the girl

Poor Santa his head was all in a whirl

Nothing in Pink or Royal blue neither of those would do.

Nothing sexist or racial at all

No books on religion only football.

Nothing that brings harm to the teeth or the body

So No Famous Five or even wee Noddy.

No glue paint or tinsel they just make a mess

And nothing at all that would cause any stress.

Nothing too violent and nothing scary

And on top of the tree no sign of a fairy.

Nothing to choke on or get lost in an ear,

Nothing at all that might bring a tear,

Nothing with feathers  no fur or no leather,

Nothing too simple but nothing too clever.

Trees from a  forest  sustainable source

And lights energy saving of course.

Gone are the days of an orange and apple

And if you were lucky and a book that told an Aesop’s fable.

Santa was tired and fed up being Jolly

He had a good idea what to do with their holly,

He was fed up with central heating, No Chimneys on roof

Oh, how he wished he was back in his youth.

In spite of it all, he knew it would all work on the night

Somehow or other he would get it alright,

Then he would sit by the fire with a big jug of beer

And begin all the planning for the incoming year.

Have a marvellous day and weekend, not too many parties it might not be PC.