Notices rules and life.

It is funny how things turn out, so often not at all the way you would expect them to. Often this is because people never bother to read the notices or rules. 

This was brought to my mind while talking about swimming pools on caravan sites with my son. These pools are full of notices giving you the does and fonts of the pool.  No jumping, no diving, no eating around the pool  and no inflatables. 

I do not think I have ever been at a poolside where most of those rules have been getting broken, sometimes all by the same family. So the pleasure of others spoiled by the few. 

This led me to being thinking of some other interesting notices I have seen this summer.  I read one  at the side of a golf tee I was walking past.  It read, YOU ARE 154 YARDS FROM THE GREEN. AT 164 YARDS THERE IS A VERY EXPENSIVE STAINED GLASS WINDOW. CHOOSE YOUR CLUB CAREFULLY. 

Or in the back garden of a house I walked past most morning for a fortnight during the summer, where I had been invited for coffee. I saw this interesting notice at the side of the pool. 

OUR OOL HAS NO P IN IT, PLEASE KEEP IT THIS WAY. 

Earlier this year I saw another very amusing notice. Before I tell you what it is let me tell you the golf course was covered in snow to at least a depth of five inches. Popping above the snow was the notice. 

DO NOT PLAY UNTIL THE 13TH TEE IS CLEAR. That might have taken a considerable wait. 

Sometimes the unexpected can work out not at all as you thought.

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a some money  for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten pounds and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" 

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?' the man asked.

" No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.  

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" 

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten pounds?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." 

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and women."  

Not everything is as it first seems. Have a wonderful day.