Games People Play.

Games People Play. 

You can hardly believe some of the tales that you overhear on the golf course. Apart from all the putts that sat on the lip of the hold and refused to go in and all those marvellous shots that just about happened. 

What I did not know was that there was golf in the afterlife, not that I am ready to tee off there just yet. 

But I heard the Peter and God played frequently.

Peter is a testament to material values, decked out as he is in the latest golf fashion, with a brand new set of clubs and all the accoutrements.

God, in contrast, is a picture of virtue wearing his old gardening clothes and trailing a tatty old canvas bag with a real mixture of ancient and rusting clubs, some of which even have hickory shafts.

On the first hole St Peter smacks a beauty 275 yards straight down the middle.
God, however, tops his drive that trickles along the ground.

It only travels about 70 yards but just before it's about to stop a rabbit runs out of the gorse, grabs the ball in its mouth and hurtles off down the fairway while St Peter watches in astonishment.

Before the rabbit can reach safety, however, a magnificent eagle swoops down and snares the rabbit in its talons before rising majestically, the rabbit still struggling in its grasp but defiantly holding the golf ball in its mouth.

As the eagle soars over the green a bolt of a lightning from a clear blue sky strikes it, killing the bird instantly. It drops the rabbit, which in turn drops the golf ball, which strikes a sprinkler head at the side of the green and takes one bounce straight into the hole for an ace on a par-5 hole.

St Peter slowly turns and says to God: "Are you going to show off all day or are we here to play golf?"

Now I am sure you are aware that this is a funny story.  This next little tale is not so funny at all and knowing some golfers it could well be a very true story. 

Alex and Jim are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. 

Alex comments to Jim, "Why don't you go over and ask if we can play through?" 
Jim gets about halfway there, turns and comes back so Alex asks, "What's wrong?" 

Jim replies, "One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress."
Alex responds, "That could be a problem. I'll go over and have a word." 

He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too. 
So Jim says, "What's wrong?"

Alex murmurs, "Small world."

Have a marvellous day.