Tips on looking good.

Lochnagar.

I had a very interesting comment made by a dear friend this week. The comment was that I was looking very slim and all I can say is that I hope the person who said it was telling the truth but I am very sure it was because the person is not prone to telling porkies.

It encouraged me when I visited the nurse to have the dressing on my ankle changed and checked that she also made the comment that I was looking fit. It has not always been so. There have been times in my life when my weight has rocketed out of control I am very fortunate in that having a strong will power I can bring it back into check.

I jokingly made the comment that it was a great pity that I was not a celebrity because if I had been I could have made a celebrity dieting video and become the expert I am at diets.

It is a well-known fact that people on a diet are never reduced to silence. 

The starting point of every diet is you should never eat more than you can lift. 

I have given a great deal of thought to this topic and I share with you the font of my knowledge.  

I have devised a calorie guide that has my full confidence to help all those seeking to lose weight.  Before giving it I should be like all other experts on the subject. 

"Proper weight control and physical fitness cannot be attained by dieting alone. Many people who are engaged in sedentary occupations do not realize that calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise." 

So having quoted an expert who was wearing a white coat here is my guide to calorie-burning activities and the number of calories per hour they consume. 

1. Beating around the bush..................... 75 
2. Jumping to conclusions......................100 
3. Climbing the walls..........................150 
4. Swallowing your pride....................... 50 
5. Passing the buck............................ 25 
6. Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight)..........50-300 
7. Dragging your heels.........................100 
8. Pushing your luck...........................250 
9. Making mountains out of molehills...........500 
10. Hitting the nail on the head................ 50 
11. Wading through paperwork....................300 
12. Bending over backwards...................... 75 
13. Jumping on the bandwagon....................200 
14. Running around in circles...................350 
15. Eating humble pie.................................225 
16. Blowing your own horn....................... 25 
17. Adding fuel to the fire.....................150
18. Opening a can of worms...................... 50

if you can think of others I would be grateful before I go to print with my new book, "How to lose calories and influence people."

Before I go let me just share some secrets that very few people know.

If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories 

If you drink a diet cola with a chocolate bar, they will cancel each other out. 

Calories don't count if you eat with someone and you both eat the same amount. 

Food taken for medicinal purposes does not count. 

This includes toast, hot chocolate, brandy and chocolate cake. 

If you fatten up everyone around you, you'll look thinner. 

Snacks consumed at a theatre do not count as they are part of the entertainment.  

Ginger nuts dooked contain no calories.   

Late-night snacks have no calories. 

The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.

 so have a marvellous calorie free day with no guilt. There is one last thing to be said for a diet. It certainly does improve your appetite. 

I am so glad I got that weight off my mind I leave feeling so much better.