Be true to yourself.

One day many years ago I was sitting in my study somewhat upset by something that somebody had said to me or about me to be more precise. I have always been a person who has found criticism difficult to live with. Not because I always felt that the criticism was unfounded more often than not because I felt it might have been correct but deep down I knew I had tried to do my best and that my actions had been carried out in the best of intents.

This particular day I learned a lesson that has helped me ever since. Let me first share a tale with you, as is so often my want. 

There was a monk who lived on the edge of a small town, much to the delight of the townspeople. Whenever he ventured into town people came out of their homes to give him gifts from their gardens, calling out to him, “Oh, Teacher, we’re so fortunate to have you living nearby! You are such a wonderful person! You do so much good, Teacher! Your presence is such a blessing!”

To all of this, the monk would always reply, “Is that so? Is that so?”

One day a young woman came to the monk’s hut and said, “Oh, Teacher, I’m in terrible trouble. I’m pregnant and my family will disown me. The young man who I love so much has fled to another town because my family would certainly do him harm. I have nowhere else to turn and no one else to ask for help.”

The monk replied that she could live in the back room and help around the house and she would then have the security of a home for her child.

Everything changed, now when the monk went into town, he was reviled. “You dirty old man! Look how you have betrayed our trust and taken advantage of that young woman! How could we have ever believed in you? What shame you have brought on us!” And they hurled rotten fruit at him along with their insults.

To all of this, the monk would always reply, “Is that so? Is that so?”

Then one day, the father of the child returned to the town and presented himself before the family, saying, “I have spent the past two years learning a trade in a neighbouring town and now I am able to provide a home for your daughter and grandchild.” 

The family was overjoyed. Although it wasn’t the best of situations, it was so much better than they had feared that they welcomed their daughter and grandchild back into the family with open arms.

Again everything changed, how different it was when the monk came into town then. The townspeople lined the road every time, presenting him with gifts of food and calling out, “Oh, Teacher, how could we have ever doubted you? Look at the wonderful thing you have done! We are so ashamed! Please forgive us! You are such a wise and compassionate person! We are so fortunate to have you living nearby!”

To all of this, the monk would always reply, “Is that so? Is that so?”

Against the backdrop of praise and condemnation, he holds himself apart from “what everyone thinks” even as he acts with the most compassionate and involved sense of responsibility, he holds true to himself.

Whether in public or the workplace or in the privacy of home life, people will misread our intentions and jump to conclusions that cast us in a bad light. 

The wonderful lesson of this story, then, is that by continuing on the most ethical course of action our true intents become known. This, however, can be a short-lived vindication as the same thing may happen all over again. We should not be pulled off course by shallow praise any more than by shallow criticism.


This is the lesson I learned but in a slightly different way.  I imagined going out among those who knew me well. I knew that I could find ten people who if I lined them up would have nothing but praise for me. I also knew that I could find ten who if lined up would not have a good word to say about me. If I listened to the first there was a danger I would have inflated ideas. If I listened to the second I would become depressed and in despair.

Be true to yourself.

Have a wonderful day.