He is just a friend.

Friends

I overheard a conversation in the local shop just yesterday. One person was saying to another that somebody must be very popular because he tells me has so many friends. The other person turned around and I heard her clearly say, "Now are they real friends, or are they those kinds of friends you get on the facebook thing?"

I wandered home thinking of all the people I have met because of time spent online and on Facebook. Some of those I have never actually met in real life others I have. Some are from the long-lost days of youth and one or two even from as far back as childhood.

So are they really friends or just those on that facebook thing? Does it really matter I ask? There are some that are indeed probably just names online, but there are others who I would dearly love to meet and I feel sure I would call them friends. 

The more important question is not are they, real friends? I think I would love to know if they met me how would they describe me? I hope beyond all hope they would wish to include me on their list of friends. But maybe they would not?

What do we mean when we talk about friends and friendship?

Friends are people with whom you dare to be yourself. Your inner being can be naked to them. Friends ask you not to dress up in any way but just be yourself.

They do not want you to be any better than you are or any worse they are happy with you as you are. When you are with them you feel like a man in the dock who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard in their company. You can say what you like as long as what you say is not a front but genuinely you.

Friends understand those little contradictions in your being that lead others to misjudge you. You can express your dislikes and even if they happen to be the things your friend likes they are still covered in the blanket of loyalty.

They understand, so you do not have to be careful. You can be still with them with no burning need for words. Amazingly they like you. You can weep with them, sing with them, laugh with them, tease them. Through all of this and underneath it all they see you, they know you, and they still love you.

What is a friend? One you dare to be yourself with.

When you think of all of this you can understand why people make enemies. They are a lot less trouble.

I remember one day when I was fairly young and finding my feet at school, feeling vulnerable. I was walking with my father and I said to him, "Dad nobody likes me." He looked at me and said, "Don't say that everybody has not met you yet." I think he was telling me that I would someday find a true friend, one like he was to me.

He was of course correct. We have to be slow in choosing a friend and even slower in changing one.

There is, of course, the story of the two friends who were out hunting one day when they saw a grizzly bear.  The first started to frantically put on his running shoes and his friend anxiously asked, "What are you doing? Don't you know you can't outrun a grizzly bear?" 

"I don't have to outrun a grizzly. I just have to outrun you!"

Now is that what you expect from a friend? of course not. 

A true friend is the first person who comes in when it seems that the whole world has gone out.

I thank again all those who call me friend and I hope I am a good one. I thank all those who I call friend and I hope they know that when I say I do I mean it. 

Have a friend filled day.