Memories.

I am beginning to become aware of the raging process and it really is a bit scary. I have a very dear friend who is having difficulties with his memory. Now we all have that from time to time but when I say he is having difficulties I mean he has reached the stage where he feels much more comfortable being with other people, just to keep him right.

I say it is scary because it is a horrible feeling to be out in my paint space and remember that the brush I am looking for is in the house where I took it to clean. I stop what I am doing and head into the house to retrieve it. 

I make my way to the kitchen and spot the coffee machine. Time for a nice cup of coffee. Where is my mug? You have got it. It is out in the garage I had better go out and get it. it is when I arrive there and see the painting on the easel that I remember why I went into the house in the first place. I went to get that brush so why am I back here without it. 

Without a further thought I about turn head back into the house to get my brush. Id so and return to the easel. Now I can get on with what i was doing. it is only then I spot my coffee cup and think a cup of coffee sounds like a good idea. 

it is scary because it is a bit like golf, which I played yesterday. I parred the first two holes and said to myself it can only go downhill from here on, and sure enough that was true. 

it is a bit like the old man sitting on the park bench.  He is sitting there and the tears are running down his face. 

A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. 

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionaire  I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful young lady, who satisfies my every need from sunrise till sunset! (sob)." 

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?" 

The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."

Have a wonderful day. Now what was it I was going to do today?

Yes I know I am Late

As the week comes to a close and new one begins and I enter it feeling considerable more positive than I did at this time last week. I have been back at my easel and have once again had a positive relationship with paint and brushes. Well that is not really technically true because the two paintings I completed with brushes do not really inspire me and I am sure they will be painted over before very long.

The one above and the one I showed yesterday were painted without brushes using only my hands and fingers and I do have a real feeling of warmth as I look at them. The large one above I even saw my wife holding it up to the wall in the living room and that is not an every day occurrence.

So a real measure of success and something else done to add to the little list of things I wanted to achieve before the end of the month. 

Which reminds me of a story of somebody else who had a dream he wanted to fulfil.

Joe was a taxi driver. On the particular day in question he stopped to pick up a nun who was hailing him from the side of the street.

She gets into the taxi and Joe just cannot stop staring at her. 

She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." 

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.

I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." 

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." 

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: 

Firstly, you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic."

The Joe is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

"OK" the nun says "Pull into the next alley" 

He does and the nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would be in his memory for ever. 

But when they get back on the road, the Joe starts crying. 

"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?" 

Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." 

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."

Hope you have a wonderful day.

Stand in Line

Shops already full of Christmas and have already been for weeks. On one day it was halloween and Christmas at the same time and fireworks on sale also. It gets earlier and earlier every year. 

It feels really strange to be walking up a shopping aisle listening to Cliff Richard singing about holly and wine at the beginning of November. But there we go it is all about getting the money out of our pockets.

I heard somebody say only last night that they were hoping to get some things in the January sales. Now I wonder will they bring the January sales forward? Then we would all really be confused.

It did remind me of a true event. 

It was the day of the big sale. 

Rumours of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.

 
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colourful language.

On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. 

As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line:

 
"That does it! If they hit me one more time, I don't open the store!"

Sometimes our actions do more harm to ourselves than they do to others. It is always wise to think before we act. 

Have a great day. 

Words.

There are times when it is best to say very little to keep the words to a minimum. That does not mean that nothing is happening.

I suspect we live n what could easily be called the age of noise. 

But even now I am falling into that very trap. 

I give you only this today.

“However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?” 

Have a good day.

Thinking on your feet.

One of the most important things I ever learned in life was to be ready with an answer. This was especially true when I was in teaching. Surrounded by students who thought they knew everything, even though I had even at that age probably forgotten more than they had as yet learned. 

There was always in every group of students the one or two whom tried to show off there clever wit and brawn, especially if there happened to be in the same class  a girl that they were at all fond of. 

I never really met any of them as fast witted and smooth with words than the tale I wish to share with you today.

This young lad had a job working in a greengrocer. He had until the time in question been given cleaning and preparation jobs. The owner of the shop had first wanted to get to know him a bit before letting him free with the customers. 

Eventually the day came when he was allowed to be front of store and serving. 

A man walked into the shop and asked to buy half a head of cabbage. 

The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of cabbage. The man was insistent
that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole
wants to buy a half a head of cabbage." 

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, 

so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way
that you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. 

Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada," the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but Whores and Hockey players up there."

"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No way??? Who did she play for?"

Have a wonderful day. 

Its a mathematical fact.

One of the wonderful things about retirement , or so I thought, was that there would be no pressure to achieve anymore. Not that I was ever one who in the work situation was ever in the position of desiring to achieve. 

In all of my jobs I seemed to be able fairly easily to reach a level at which I was very happy to operate. Having reached that level I then put the pressure on myself to be the very best that I could be at the job I was doing. Pressure enough.

So retirement looked good. Yet here I am still putting pressure on myself to produce art that somebody will like enough to want to own it. There are times when rather than my art being a release from boring television or other such things I might do I manage to make it into a rod to push myself. 

Yesterday I  produced a piece of art that I just know is not as I would like it to be but for the first time in ages I am content to put it aside and take out another canvas and start again. 

This is a lesson I should have learned ages ago. 

I overheard a conversation yesterday where two people were discussing how best to achieve the status they were looking for. Maybe further study?  Maybe a change of employer? So it went on idea after idea.

I was really tempted to share with them the mathematical certainty of life. I know about this because it was one of the reasons I was always happy not to become part of that race to the top.  Fortunately I think my family have learned this also.

let me share it with you.

How to succeed the mathematical method to success.  

Let me begin by saying that the first rule is that you have to give more than 100%. We have all heard people saying they will give more than 100%. I heard a footballer say it last night. "We need to go out there and give 110%. 

Now let me explain how you can give more than 100% 

Here is the formula 

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% 

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, 

it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Now is that really the road I want to travel? No it is not and never has been.

Have a wonderful day. 

The horns of a dilemma .

I apologise that the picture above is a bit out of focus. Seemed appropriate as right now that seems to be where my painting is. The more I try to get something on canvas the harder it becomes. 

I have another painting on the canvas with loads of texture on it and I really do not know where to go with it next. The trouble with texture is that once it is on the canvas a dry it is very hard to go anywhere other than where you had in mind. When that does not work you end up on the horns of a dilemma. Do I proceed and persevere and use up even more expensive paint and mediums or do I call it quits and throw it in the skip?

I went over and over this most of the night and I am wide awake with still not an answer. It is worse when my wife tells me without prompting that she thought the painting on the easel seemed to be progressing well. 

I feel this morning a bit like the man who found himself on the horns of a dilemma. let me share it with you. You are in the driving seat. 

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. 

On your left side is a steep drop-off and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig, which is the same size as your car, and you cannot overtake it. 

Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. 

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this situation?

It is difficult is it not? Just what would you do?

Let me make a suggestion.

Get off the children's carousel and bin the bottle in your hand. 

Sometimes the solution is so much clearer when you are aware of reality . We have a great knack of making things much more difficult than they are in fact. 

Have a marvellous day.